Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
