i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
