I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
