it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
