This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
