ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
