hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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