She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
