I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Randomize
