He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
