I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
