she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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