I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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