Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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