1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
