He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
