It's Friday. Sex?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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