My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
