You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
