I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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