my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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