Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
