U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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