Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
