and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
