are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
