i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Drunk is not a location!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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