And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
