Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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