I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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