so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
