D3 body, D1 cock
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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