Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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