'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
