She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The adults are the big ones right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
