i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
