he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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