THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
