i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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