I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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