she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's just like the Real World with babies
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
