I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
