I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wanna go halves on a baby?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
