She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
