no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
