Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
