she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
