There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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