paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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