ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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